Harlequin Hottie: Ryan Hansen

Miracles upon miracles all you dedicated Veronica Mars fans (or should I say marshmallows!)…Veronica Mars the movie is finally a thing! 

Thanks to some pretty wicked awesome crowd sourcing initiated by show creator Rob Thomas and main star Kristen Bell on kickstarter.com, this week’s Harlequin Hottie Ryan Hansen will soon be returning to the big screen.

Ryan played Dick Casablancas in Veronica Mars, the epitome of hot bad boy. He was so bad but so damn good at the same time. 

Sure, looking back, his floppy blonde hair looks so 2006. But we’ll forgive him. He’s been looking mighty fine lately in 2 Broke Girls, where he plays the total opposite of Dick; as Candy Andy he’s a totally sweet guy.

Check out the campaign video (funds currently top $3.1 million!) to see Ryan in his finest! But seriously…dude knows how to rock a bathrobe. 

Steamy Sessions with a Sheikh Surgeon

The Sheikh Surgeon’s Proposal

By: Olivia Gates      

The Setting: Fictional desert kingdom of Damhoor, an Arabic land

The Happy Couple:

Janaan Latimer – an emergency doctor, volunteering with a global aid organization 

Sheikh Malek Aal Hamdaan – Prince of Damhoor, Minister of Health and a playboy surgeon

The Set-Up: After her mother commits suicide, Janaan travels to the desert in the kingdom of Damhoor to volunteer her medical skills and find her family roots. On an emergency medical mission, Janaan falls for her boss, Malek, a superior surgeon and mega stud.

The Issue: Working under such close quarters on the mission, it’s hard for this pair to keep their hands off each other. But with Malek set to take the throne as King of Damhoor, he’s in no position to choose his own wife. He must marry, according to tradition, a suitable mate from a neighbouring kingdom. Janaan can’t bear the thought of Malek with another woman, and isn’t satisfied with his solution to be his mistress for life.

Happily Ever After: When Malek ascends the throne after his father’s death, Janaan is sure this is the end of their affair. Though she loves him, she knows they can never be together while he’s King. After six heartsick months apart, Malek takes a page out of King Edward VIII’s book and abdicates the throne, eager to start a family and the rest of his life with Janaan.

Scandalous Scale: Hot n’ Heavy +++     

The Verdict: In a bookstore, The Sheikh Surgeon’s Proposal would be in the curtained-off room labeled ‘adults only’. This is one steamy read. The medical angle adds interest, as do the well-developed backstories of the principle characters. This is the first fictional-setting romance reviewed on this blog, and it definitely did not disappoint!

Harlequin Hottie: Travis Fimmel

Travis Fimmel in Vikings 

I watched the premiere of Vikings this past Sunday on the History Channel and who knew North Germanic warriors, underneath all the grit and blood from their enemies, could look so good.

This week’s Harlequin Hottie, Travis Fimmel plays Ragnar Lothbrok, an unparalleled Viking warrior and brave new explorer in the History Channel's new show. 

Despite his strange Viking hair do (braided mohawks are usually a hair don’t), Travis's rough and tough Viking exterior proves just so damn sexy. 

Maybe it’s the way he holds that shield and wields a battle-axe. Or maybe its his piercing blue eyes and deep voice. 

Eleven years before he became a kick ass Viking, Travis was named one of People Magazine’s sexiest bachelors at the ripe age of 22, alongside the likes of Ben Affleck, Tobey Maguire and Zach Braff.

Travis Fimmel, Calvin Klein magazine ad

Ladies, you might also remember Travis from his Calvin Klein underwear modeling years. 

To watch this week's Harlequin Hottie in action, catch the next Vikings this Sunday @ 10 pm/9c on the History Channel. 

Or, watch full episodes online here

Love at First Sight, with a Lord!

The Aristocrat and the Single Mom

By: Michelle Douglas     

The Setting: Modern times, Nelson Bay, Australia 

The Happy Couple:

Kate Petherbridge – a single mum who runs her own tour boat business

Lord Simon Morton-Blake – a proper English Lord, unaccustomed to ‘fun in the sun’

The Set-Up: Lord Simon travels to Australia, planning to bring home his wild child runaway sister. Instead, he falls for Kate, his sister’s beautiful blonde Aussie friend.

The Issue: When Kate meets Lord Simon, its love at first sight. His impeccable accent, his brilliant smile, his hard body. He seems pretty attracted to her too, until he learns she has a seven-year-old son, Jesse. Lord Simon’s aversion to children stems from a traumatic episode in his early teens, and Kate is hard-pressed to convince him he could be a great father.

Happily Ever After: After only two weeks in Australia, and two searing kisses, Simon finds himself hopelessly in love with single mum Kate. And after endless games of cricket on the beach, he even finds himself bonding with Jesse. Maybe he can be a father after all, especially if Kate says yes to his marriage proposal.

Scandalous Scale: Getting Warmer    

The Verdict: Finally, a romance with a strong and independent(ish) female lead! Kate has her life together and is perfectly happy, even before Lord Simon steps into the picture. It’s actually Lord Simon who’s falling apart. Backstories and subplots keep this minimal action story interesting, though if you’re looking for hot n’ heavy sex scenes, keep looking, this one’s relatively tame.

Harlequin Hottie: Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth)

The sexiest literary lad in all the land 

I went to this fabulous exhibit at the American Museum of Natural History the other day and it was all about food, where it comes from, how it’s processed (in the US mostly, but also around the world) and most interesting, what different people around the world eat, now and in the past. 

They had this whole part of the exhibition that featured what famous people eat including what Michael Phelps eats for breakfast (it’s a lot not-surprisingly) and what historical people like Jane Austen would have had for lunch.

At the Jane Austen station, as we were all remarking that she ate ice cream in a time when freezers didn’t exist, the talk turned (inevitably) to what our favourite Jane Austen books were, our favourite adaptations. Mine, btw, is Pride and Prejudice, but not the abomination starring weird-nosed Keira Knightly. I am partial to the A&E version, starring this week’s Harlequin Hottie, Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy.

Like just look at him, he is sex on toast. The neck cravat, the piercing eyes, the muttonchops, the front hair flow. It all looks even better when he gets all wet. Just saying.

Colin Firth has looked good as Mr. Darcy in more ways than one. While his turn in P&P got us all initially excited, he is perhaps most beloved for his starring role as Mr. Darcy in Bridget Jones Diary. Who can forget his reindeer jumper?

Who’s your literary stud muffin? What fictional man keeps you turning the pages?

Marrying the “Sex Magnet” Magnate

This British invasion is less racy than the last

An Offer She Can’t Refuse

By: Emma Darcy    

The Setting: Modern times, Dubai/Santorini/Sydney   

The Happy Couple:

Chris(tina) Savalas – an aspiring model turned mother with a guarded heart

Ari Zavros – a sexy Greek business magnate (who’s used to getting what he wants)

The Set-Up: Four years ago, Ari met Christina in Sydney while on business. She was an impressionable 18-year-old model wannabe; he was a suave older man who stole her heart (and her virginity)! The two lost touch, only to meet again years later at a hotel in Dubai. Ari thinks Christina looks beautiful as always, but is shocked to learn she has a five-year-old son who looks exactly like him.

The Issue: Tina never thought she’d see Ari again. When their eyes lock across the Dubai restaurant, she realizes she must finally come clean about the paternity of her son, Theo. Ever the traditional Greek man, Ari believes in upholding the traditional gender roles, believing they should marry to provide a stable family environment for Theo. But how can Tina marry the man that broke her heart?

Happily Ever After: Tina can’t deny she’s still physically attracted to Ari. The wedding, honeymoon, and first months of marriage pass by in a blur, as Tina all the while keeps her heart guided against a man she still doesn’t fully trust. When tragedy strikes, and Tina’s life hangs in the balance, she finally learns she means everything to Ari.

Scandalous Scale: Getting Steamy  

The Verdict: At first, this story kept reminding me of Bad Boys and Baby Drama, they both had bad boys and surprise kid drama. Ari and Jed seem to be cut from the same cloth, both used to getting their own way, no matter what their lady loves think about anything. If you’re looking for character development, good writing, or an interesting plot, look elsewhere. The settings are beautiful though, especially the description of Burj Al Arab, the seven star hotel in Dubai.

Harlequin Hottie: Someday My Prince Will Come

Whether you’re five or 25, there’s just something about those dreamy Disney dudes. Last week there was an article on Buzzfeed that ranked the hotness level of the Disney Princes. Though Aladdin topped the list in the Buzzfeed article, runner-up Prince Eric, Ariel’s main squeeze in The Little Mermaid was clearly robbed of his first place title. That magnificent hair, those brilliant blue eyes. He’s clearly the biggest Disney babe, and this week’s Harlequin Hottie. 

Who's the hottest Disney Prince?

African Sex Safari

Dr. Greg totally looks like one of the
guys from Dream Phone

Her Very Special Boss

By: Anne Fraser   

The Setting: Modern times, Somewhere in Africa  

The Happy Couple:

Dr. Kirsty Boucher – a redheaded first year doctor unsure of her skills

Dr. Greg du Toit – a sexy surgeon who can’t let go of the past

The Set-Up: When Kirsty finds her fiancé in bed with another woman the day before her wedding, she needs to get out of town fast. Heartbroken, she travels to Africa to hone her medical skills in a tiny village hospital. Greg, her now boss, is a gifted surgeon and a total babe. How can she concentrate on medicine with him in the room?

The Issue: Kirsty throws herself into work, trying to erase the image of her cheating fiancé from her mind. A little unsure of her skills, she finds herself making stupid mistakes in front of her boss. Greg is sure Kirsty doesn’t have what it takes to hack it in the African bush. Though he finds her distractingly attractive, he can’t enter into any kind of relationship. Since the tragic death of his wife and daughter, Greg believes he will never love again. 

Happily Ever After: Close proximity and long hours at the hospital draw the pair together. The two finally give in to their lustful urges while on a safari mini-break, but Greg thinks he’s made a dreadful mistake. He can’t possibly offer Kirsty the love she deserves. But when a fire breaks out in the village, catching Kirsty in its wake, Greg realizes he can’t stand to lose another woman he loves. As he pulls her from the flames to safety, he finally tells her how he feels.

Scandalous Scale: Getting Warmer   

The Verdict: Our first medical romance certainly did not disappoint. With decent character development, a fast-paced plotline and an interesting setting, Her Very Special Boss reads like a really good episode of Grey’s Anatomy set inside African Lion Safari.

Naughty Times in Northumberland

Different cover, same great romance. 

Secretary by Day, Mistress by Night

By: Maggie Cox   

The Setting: Modern times, Northumberland, England  

The Happy Couple:

Maya Hayward – a quiet brunette bombshell with a dark and tragic past

Blaise Walker – a playboy playwright with a violent upbringing  

The Set-Up: When Blaise saves Maya from a handsy encounter with her horny boss, she feels like she can’t say no to his request that she come work for him instead. When the pair travels to Blaise’s stately home in Northumberland, he can’t wait to start work on his new play with the beautiful Maya researching by his side.

The Issue: To say Maya has daddy issues would be a severe understatement. Her father was a world-renowned yet incredibly unstable and depressed painter who committed suicide when she was just 17. She’s had some trouble fully trusting men ever since. Blaise is afraid to commit fully to a relationship after seeing the violent streak in his parent’s marriage.

Happily Ever After: The sexual chemistry between the pair is fierce, and just cannot be denied. What starts off as a casual, no strings attached affair, quickly turns to more. On an afternoon stroll along Hadrian’s Wall, troubled pasts are revealed and the two begin to fall in love.

Scandalous Scale: Getting Steamy  

The Verdict: This is not your typical Harlequin as…dare I say it? There’s CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! Maya and Blaise (such stupid names) each have rich and storied pasts that explain their current temperaments. There’s also an interesting subplot about the play Blaise writes. It actually sounds like a play I’d want to see. Also the setting sounds super pretty. 

Harlequin Hottie: Vintage Collection

Clark Gable as Rhett Butler in GWTW

Gone with the Wind is a timeless classic, as is its dastardly dashing male lead Clark Gable, this week’s Vintage Harlequin Hottie!

If you don’t already know the story of GWTW you need to Netflix it pronto (or read the epic novel it was based on).

There’s never been such a seductively attractive bad boy as Rhett Butler (Clark’s character). He’s a bootlegging badass who decides to make his fortune on the black market rather than fighting for the Confederate cause during the American Civil War. He’s got money, influence and power and he’s not at all what a seemingly respectable girl like Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh in the movie) should want in a gentleman caller or a husband. His devilishly handsome good looks and his wicked charm prove ultimately irresistible.

Watch the trailer to see Clark in action. Swoooooooon.

Close runner-up: Christopher Plummer circa the Sound of Music years.

Who’s your favourite vintage hottie? 

The Language of Love (and Flowers!)

The Playboy’s Plain Jane

By: Cara Colter   

The Setting: The 90s (judging by the fashion sense), Hillsboro, Ontario, Canada

The Happy Couple:

Katie Pritchard: divorced, overall-wearing (think Andie McPhee circa Dawson’s Creek) florist

Dylan McKinnon: former Blue Jay, current playboy 

The Set-Up: Katie’s got a crush…and on the most unsuitable person. Dylan is the best looking guy in Hillsboro with the worst reputation. Every time he comes into her flower shop she can’t help but swoon, even as he buys flowers for his newest conquest(s).

The Issue: Dylan grew up believing in true love, but the dream died the day his dad put his mom in a nursing home. Love was supposed to conquer all, but it couldn’t conquer Alzheimer’s. Dylan decided then and there he wasn’t looking for commitment, only casual flings. Katie is just trying to put her life together after miscarrying a baby and getting a divorce. She thinks Dylan’s cute, but she sees the steady stream of girls on his arm.

Happily Ever After: When Dylan asks Katie out, she vehemently opposes. She knows his playboy ways and doesn’t want to be another notch in his belt. It takes several woo-ing attempts and a few grand gestures before she agrees to a date. But it’s when the pair babysits Dylan’s baby nephew that Katie really begins to see Dylan’s sensitive side. Could it be truly be love? 

Scandalous Scale: Tame

The Verdict: If you want to learn a lot about flowers and what they mean, than this book is certainly for you. If every time you kiss someone you feel like they’ve “unlocked the wild call that had been tamed” and you feel like “an eagle, soaring, proud, hungry, fierce” than you will probably like this book. If not, I’d pass; it’s a bit of a snooze.

Harlequin Hottie: Weatherman Watch

It is Snowmageddon 2013 outside and I’m stuck indoors. Luckily, I’ve got Anthony Farnell to keep me updated on the changing weather conditions. 

He’s this week’s (and the inaugural!) Harlequin Hottie. Below, a compilation of Anthony making weather sound sexy…

Question: Who’s your biggest TV news crush? 

The Ballet Babe and Her Guitar Hero

British Invasion: This week's book comes from Mills &
Boon UK, the British branch of Harlequin publishing

Keeping Her Up All Night

By: Anna Cleary  

The Setting: Modern times, Sydney, Australia

The Happy Couple:

Amber O’Neill – a violet eyed ballet dancer, turned florist  

Guy Wilder – a one night stand lover, ad agent, and singer/songwriter

The Set-Up: After her mom dies, Amber sets up house in an apartment in Sydney, leaving her days of touring with the Australia Ballet behind. When Guy moves in next door, he shakes up her life…and her heart.

The Issue: Left at the alter by the love of his life, Guy Wilder doesn’t think any woman will ever set his heart (or loins) aflame again. But then he meets beautiful, lithe Amber, a ballet-dancing vixen with violet eyes like Liz Taylor. Can he really learn to love again, or is it easier to leave things casual?

Happily Ever After: When Guy promises to help Amber’s failing florist shop, she thinks its just an excuse to spend more time together…outside the bedroom. She can’t help but dream about a future with the super sexy boy next door. But is Guy ready to take the leap, after being crushed so completely before? After a strangely sexual dancing scene, involving a baby grand piano and some probably unstandardized ballet moves, the pair realize they’re in more than just lust.  

Scandalous Scale: Hot n’ Heavy

(NEW!) The Verdict: Looking to get your jollies on? Keeping Her Up All Night is the perfect NSFW blush-inducing read. Guy Wilder is one dude who just can’t keep it in his pants…and Amber O’Neill is one ballerina who doesn’t seem to mind. Plot and character development fade quickly into the background as the sex scenes steal the show.

If the largest snowstorm in 5 years has you shuttered indoors, why not immerse yourself in a Harlequin? 

Bad Boys and Baby Drama

The Sabbides Secret Baby

By: Jacqueline Baird

The Setting: Modern times, Split between: Athens, Greece and Dorsetshire, England   

The Happy Couple:

Phoebe Brown – a naïve young girl in love, turned baby mama

Jed Sabbides – a multimillionaire hotel magnate with a bad boy appeal

The Set-Up: Phoebe meets Jed when she’s in her early twenties, working at one of his hotels to put her way through university. She immediately falls for his good looks and charm. She thinks its love. 

When she tells him she’s pregnant, she expects Jed to get down on one knee. He splits instead and she miscarries, and poor Phoebe is left with a broken heart.

The Issue: As Phoebe flees Athens to seek comfort back home in England, Jed is certain he’ll never see her again. And good riddance, right? Its not like he was ready to give up his playboy ways. As Phoebe settles back into life in Dorsetshire, she gets a surprise…of the baby kind. 

Turns out she was pregnant with twins and only one miscarried (a medical rarity and convenient plot point).

Happily Ever After: Phoebe can’t disguise her panic (or her arousal) when she runs into Jed five years later. He has no idea that Ben, their son, exists. When he comes to her house to rekindle the fire, he realizes the baby he thought miscarried is alive and well.  

A lot has changed for Jed, he’s no longer the bad boy philanderer he used to be. He’s ready to be a family man, but how can he make Phoebe see he’ll never break her heart again?

Scandalous Scale: Hot n’ Heavy

BONUS: Bad Boy Appeal

Jed Sabbides is a total classic when it comes to bad boys. He’s controlling, he likes to get his way, and he’ll stop at almost nothing to get what he wants. But we can’t exactly hate him. 

We should hate all bad boys on principle. But we rarely do. Why? Because bad boys are usually SO. DAMN. SEXY. Especially fictional ones.

My total swoonfest? Damon Salvatore in the Vampire Diaries.

Who’s your favourite fictional bad boy?

Sex (with your ex!) in the City

Marrying the Manhattan Millionaire

By: Jackie Braun   

The Setting: Modern times, New York City, USA 

The Happy Couple:

Samantha (Sam) Bradford – drop-dead gorgeous account executive at her father’s midtown advertising agency

Michael Lewis – irresistibly sexy, secret millionaire advertising executive

The Set-Up: Samantha and Michael were hot n’ heavy…seven years ago. Since their intense breakup, Sam’s been channeling her inner Taylor Swift and Michael’s been sexually frustrated on the west coast. 

Now, they’re back in New York, vying for the same multi-million dollar advertising client.

The Issue: It would be so easy for Sam to hate Michael, her biggest business rival and the man who once broke her heart…if she didn’t find him so irresistible after all these years. Michael would love to concentrate fully on work, but he can’t seem to keep Sam out of his mind (or his increasingly erotic dreams).

Happily Ever After: Thrown together in high stakes business meetings, Sam and Michael quickly fall into old patterns. Their fierce competition in the boardroom is no match for their rekindled passion in the bedroom.

After both Sam and Michael fail to land a big account, the pair realizes they’ll work better in business if they’re working together.

Scandalous Scale: Getting Warmer

Italian Stallion to the Rescue

Hired: The Italian’s Bride

By: Donna Alward   

The Setting: Modern times, Banff, Alberta, Canada

The Happy Couple:

Mariella (Mari) Ross: beautiful manager of the Fiori Cascade hotel with a dark and tragic past

Luca Fiori: an Italian Stallion, owner of the Fiori hotel chain 

The Set-Up: When Luca flies to town to renovate and rebrand his newest hotel, he meets resistance at every turn from Mari, the hotel manager. She can’t stand his take-charge attitude; he finds her beautiful but strangely fragile. 

The hours are long as renovations get under way and the attraction between the two deepens with every meeting, every lingering glance.

The Issue: Still smarting from his last relationship that ended in ruin, Luca swears love is just not for him. He’s in Banff for business, and nothing more. Mari is trying to rebuild her life after a past of violent abuse at the hands of her stepfather. She hasn’t let anyone get close to her for years, but something about Luca sets her heart aflutter.

Happily Ever After: When her past comes back to haunt her, Mari turns to Luca—and his strong, muscled shoulder—to cry on. When it comes time for Luca to fly back to Florence, Mari realizes she’s fallen in love with her protector. He’d sworn to never love again, but Luca can’t resist Mari, she’s simply bellissima.

Scandalous Scale: Getting Warmer

Canadian Cowboy

Her Lone Cowboy

By: Donna Alward  

The Setting: Modern times, Grand Prairie, Alberta, Canada

The Happy Couple:

Lily Germaine – beautiful brunette, hell-bent on helping people

Noah Lamarie – wounded army Captain, turned cowboy

The Set-Up: Noah’s brother Andrew and Lily’s best friend Jen are getting married, and guess who they’ve asked to be best man and maid of honour?

Thrown together in wedding planning, Lily volunteers to help Noah as he re-adjusts to life on the farm with only one arm.

The Issue: After a tragic accident in Afghanistan, Captain Noah Lamarie has returned home without an arm and with a wounded sense of pride. How could anyone ever love him now? Lily, still stinging from being left at the alter years ago, is not sure she can ever love again. 

As the pair helps Andrew and Jen with wedding plans, it’s best if they just stay friends…right?

Happily Ever After: After a series of lingering glances, intimate dancing lessons and a teasingly erotic tuxedo measurement scene, Noah and Lily definitely cross into ‘more than just friends’ territory. Lily falls hard for Noah’s strength and his ability to beat the odds, and Noah can’t help but love a woman who sees past his stump and into his soul.

Scandalous Scale: Tame

BONUS: Casting the Cowboy

Definitely sexy Jake Gyllenhall (circa the Brokeback Mountain years) as Noah.

They could totally figure out how to make Jake armless, look how well Hollywood’s doing with Dr. Arizona Robbins on Grey’s Anatomy.

    Who do you think would make the sexiest cowboy?

Wet, Wild and Knocked Up

Walk on the Wild Side

By: Natalie Anderson 

The Setting: Modern times, New Zealand 

The Happy Couple:

Kelsi Reid – violet-eyed petite redhead, web designer

Jack Greene – “sinfully hot champion snowboarder”

The Set-Up: Love at first sight, with a dangerous twist. When Kelsi runs into Jack with her car, he can’t help but notice the sexy siren behind the wheel. 

After a get-to-know-you coffee, the pair enjoys an afternoon of raunchy sexcapades in the surf at the beach. Their one-day affair turns into more when Kelsi realizes she’s pregnant.

The Issue: Jack is a snowboarding sex god who can’t be tied down. He’s forever chasing snowy mountains (and girls) and has never faced commitment. Kelsi thinks she’s ugly because she has pale skin, freckles and red hair she tries to hide with excessive amounts of bleach. 

She wants stability and a man to love her for her. With a baby thrown into the mix, how can the two ever get along?

Happily Ever After: After some tears (Kelsi) and explosive cursing (Jack), the pair reunites (in the bedroom at least…and on the kitchen floor…and in the foyer). But was their weekend-long sex fest a mistake? Jack seriously needs to get back to training if he is ever going to get an Olympic gold medal. 

After some soul searching (and a little bit more bedroom fun) Jack realizes Kelsi is all he ever wanted.

Scandalous Scale: Hot n’ Heavy

BONUS: Best Euphemism

Anatomical words just so aren’t the Harlequin way. This week’s best penile comparison? The Eiffel Tower.

A Cougar in the Outback

 

Surprise: Outback Proposal

By: Jennie Adams

The Setting: Modern times, Australian Outback

The Happy Couple:

Jayne Cutter – 35-year-old tourism company executive

Alex MacKay – 25-year-old wholesale gift supplier (Brent MacKay's younger brother)

The Set-Up: One project away from a partnership at her dad’s tourism company, Jayne teams up with super sexy Alex MacKay to create unique souvenirs for visitors touring the Australian Outback.

The Issue: As the pair explores the Outback, their mutual attraction is instant. But Jayne is a decade older than Alex and is afraid of becoming a clichéd cougar. 

Obviously she has yet to watch Cougar Town and is unaware that cougars are staging a comeback. Even Taylor Swift has jumped on the cougar bandwagon a few times.

Happily Ever After: A gusty dust storm strands Alex and Jayne at a pilot’s hangar. Everyone knows how romantic wind can be…think Ralph Fiennes in The English Patient. As the two ride out the storm, things get a little PG13. The pair realizes that age is just a number that their love can most certainly conquer. All ends happily ever after with a proposal under the Australian sun.

Scandalous Scale: Getting Warmer